Ep. 73 | From Survival to Thriving: How A Fear-Free Approach (For Humans) Will Transform The Veterinary Profession And Your Own Life

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Disclaimer: This episode touches on sensitive topics like mental health and suicide. The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical, mental health, or professional advice. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional or contact a local helpline (988). 

Chapters:

01:06 Addressing a Heavy Topic: Suicide in Veterinary Medicine

02:33 The Fear-Free Approach for Humans

04:30 Understanding Nervous System States

06:08 Recognizing and Responding to Stress Responses

22:20 Signs of Being Stuck in Survival Mode

31:17 The Need for a Fundamental Shift in Veterinary Medicine

44:46 Effective Communication Strategies

45:07 Dealing with Disrespectful Clients

45:23 Establishing Boundaries in Veterinary Medicine

45:45 Impact of Toxic Clients on Veterinary Teams

49:11 The Importance of Self-Care and Boundaries

52:54 Understanding Stress Responses

55:55 Creating a Supportive Work Environment

01:01:50 Proactive Approaches to Employee Wellbeing

01:21:17 The Role of Physical Health in Mental Wellbeing

01:26:00 The Vet Med Unicorn Movement

01:27:49 Join the Movement and Thrive

Links to resources mentioned at the end of this post!

Welcome to the Life Boost with Amelia podcast where we're changing the narrative around what true health and success look like. They should give you energy, not drain it. I'm your host, Dr. Amelia multi-passionate integrative health and life coach, entrepreneur, and recovered burnout veterinarian. Together, we'll explore the science behind how your brain and body work, including the unconscious mind while also connecting with what your heart needs in order to stand up to the norm of feeling stuck on a hamster wheel-working hard yet feeling exhausted and not where you want to be- and instead live a life that makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning and in love with who you see when you look in the mirror. The reality is if you do what everyone else is doing, you're not going to feel good. Let's break the norm.

Hi, beautiful friend. Today's episode is going to start off talking about a very heavy topic. And yet throughout this episode, my goal is that you are going to feel more empowered. Hopeful lighter and excited to start implementing what I talk about in your life today.

Because my goal is always for us to be looking at challenges in ways that open doors to new possibilities and problem solving so that you are always moving forward in a way that feels like it's lifting a weight off your shoulders. So last week we lost another member of the veterinary community to suicide. This time it was a veterinary student. And the week that I'm recording this as also veterinary technician appreciation week. And veterinary technicians have up to five times higher suicide rate compared to the normal population.

And so I feel the need now more than ever to scream from the rooftops my mission that I know is going to fundamentally change veterinary medicine and will decrease the burnout and suicide rate in our profession as soon as we adopt it. And what I'm talking about is my mission that every single person in the veterinary community adopts a fear-free approach to humans.

Now, the reason I say fear free approach is because we have a fear free certification and approach that we are already using for pets. And that involves increasing awareness of signs of a stress response in a pet. And then using that information in order to problem solve and to create fear-free low stress handling and experiences for pets, so that it's positive and sustainable. This is amazing. And yet I do not know why we have not used this approach for humans yet.

We are so focused on our patients that we are not paying attention to ourselves. And we are ignoring the most fundamental, basic way that we all function. The reason that veterinary medicine is struggling with a high burnout and suicide rate is because we are ignoring, normalizing and even selecting and rewarding for the red flags and warning signs that lead up to burnout or worse.

And as long as we continue to ignore those red flags and to even in some cases feel proud of those signs, then we are going to continue to struggle with this. And that's unacceptable. We cannot keep losing people to our profession.

But here's the tricky part, burnout and suicide are complicated. They're multifactorial. We all have different experiences and it can be really hard to even recognize when you're in burnout. Like for me, I was in burnout for a long time. And just living in denial, not even acknowledging or recognizing that that had happened. And this is why we need to adopt a nervous system perspective.

Because, while everybody has their own experiences and the way that they're experiencing their reality. We all share a nervous system that is wired the same way. And there are basic signs from our body that we can all watch for and recognize both in ourselves and in those that we're interacting with that give us so much information about what we need and also how we can interact with those around us in a way that is supportive and safe and helping to unite us rather than causing a divide. And I think we can all agree that in this world, we really need to be prioritizing the things that help to bring us together rather than polarizing us and feeling reactive among one another.

And not only do we all share a nervous system, our nervous system is running the show and calling the shots, whether we like that or not. Because our nervous system works at the unconscious level. It knows more than our conscious brain does. And it operates faster than our conscious brain. And so if we want to feel more in control and if we want to feel better in our own lives, then we better be listening to our nervous system. Otherwise we're just going to feel out of control. And so often that judgment and not understanding why we're doing things is what can lead us down a bad path.

So the very first thing that we need to do is everyone just needs to be able to recognize the signs of a stress response in a human. And because we are in a society that has really programmed us thanks to diet and hustle culture, to either think that our body is an inconvenience or even the enemy that we need to control or ignore we are collectively not very good at listening to our body. And so we have normalized all being highly stressed. And so we're really not tuning in and recognizing the really valuable messages that our bodies are giving us at all times from our nervous system.

So we are supposed to be hanging out in the parasympathetic state, the safe and social state. That is the state where we are designed to thrive. That is where we can be healthy. It's where we're able to collaborate and work together. We can digest our immune system, cooperates our hormones, cooperate. We are in a state where we can heal and grow and thrive. If we encounter a perceived threat.

Then we go into a fight or flight sympathetic response. And in that our body's goal is just to help us to escape from that threat. We need to get blood and energy to our muscles so that we can run or fight. And this state is meant to be temporary because we are because the goal is to survive. We just need to run or fight the threat. And then we'll be able to return to safety where we can shift back into the parasympathetic state, where our body can heal if we were injured and to recover from that stressful event.

Now, if you're not able to escape, say you are being chased by a tiger and you aren't able to outrun them and they actually catch you. You're not able to escape from the perceived threat. Then your nervous system has one more state that it will shift into freeze or shut down. And in this case, your body is just trying to protect you from pain. And so instead of a very high energy mobilized got to escape kind of energy, there's a dramatic shift. And in this state, it's very low energy, kind of disconnected from your emotions, a feeling of hopelessness and depression.

Now, if we think about burnout and suicide. What nervous system state do you think someone has to be in in order to reach that point? This is why we need to be talking about things from a nervous system perspective.

Because right now we have normalized living in survival mode in the sympathetic state. If you think about veterinary medicine and even our society, how often do people, when you ask how they're doing, they say busy. Or maybe they're stressed. How often do you see people at the end of the day, needing to turn to alcohol. Surviving on multiple cups of coffee because they're exhausted. How often do you see people irritable? Easily frustrated by traffic having arguments online, feeling volatile about politics. Just complaining in general.

We are living in fight or flight. And because we've normalized that we're not ever prioritizing what we need in order to shift into that parasympathetic state where we can thrive. Because remember the fight or flight sympathetic response is never meant to be longterm. It's not designed for your body to thrive. It is only designed for survival.

But if we are in a situation where we're not able to escape the constant stressors and perceived threats, that we encounter day to day. And if we're never prioritizing things to release that stress, because nobody talks about that. Then the next logical step that our body and nervous system was designed to do because our bodies one mission in life is to always protect us and keep us safe is to go into freeze or shut down.

So if we want to actually change the burnout and suicide rate in the veterinary profession. Then we need to start noticing the signs that we're in fight or flight. And we need to stop rewarding that. So I'm going to go over the specific signs of fight, flight, fawn and freeze, or shut down so that you can be noticing them in your own life and also in those around you.

But before I do, one thing I really want to emphasize is that all of these nervous system states are normal. We as humans are designed to go in and out of all of them, none of them are a problem. They're all really valuable in order to protect us and to keep us safe depending on what is in our environment. If you go into freeze or shutdown, that is not because of a weakness or a character flaw or something that you've done wrong. That is just a normal, nervous system state, and a message from your body that something in your life physically, mentally, or emotionally is feeling like a lot. It is a message that it is time for you to rest, that you need support, that you need to be extra gentle with yourself.

The problem is that that is not what our society has ingrained in us. Because if you think about feeling low energy, low motivation, kind of lazy. What have we been taught? We have been taught that you just need to push harder. Right? Lazy is weakness is just a lack of discipline and you just need to judge yourself and be harder. And that is the exact opposite of what you need, because by doing that, you are adding stress when your body is clearly telling you that your stress balloon is at max capacity.

And when you do that, you just keep yourself even more stuck and then you are in this really uncomfortable situation where you are getting this internal pressure or maybe external pressure from somebody else to be having motivation and energy that you just don't have because you're adding stress when what you really need to do is prioritize whatever is going to release stress and to help you to feel more safe.

And so if you get stuck in that, and there's just all this pressure building and you can't escape from it and you think that you need to fix it instead of being gentle with yourself. And then you start feeling those feelings of hopelessness or depression that we have pathologized, then either we feel like there's something wrong with us, or we feel ashamed and we don't want to share that because it feels like a weakness. And it is not, that is why we need to be adopting this.

Everybody needs to be adopting this nervous system perspective, because the moment you do the moment your life is going to become so much more doable. And you're going to be able to understand why things have felt hard. And you're going to be able to start supporting yourself in a way that helps you work towards your goals or to overcome challenges in a way that feel doable so that it doesn't just Suddenly feel like too much. Okay.

So let's go over signs of each of the nervous system states. And first I'm going to talk about more short term and then we'll talk about what happens when you are stuck in it and those signs. And I highly recommend every single morning, one of the first things that you do before you start your day is checking in with your body and collecting data, noticing how you're feeling and identifying which nervous system state you're in. Because then when you have that awareness, you get to decide what you want to do and it's such valuable information on what you need in order to navigate the day.

Okay. So the safe and social state that parasympathetic state, this is where you feel content like life is good. You are feeling pretty relaxed. You might feel creative or playful or social and feel connected to others. And your body feels relaxed and healthy.

In the flight response, you're feeling very busy or rushed, high alert, can't relax, your mind won't shut off. You feel stressed or anxious or worried. And your body is tense. You may find tension in your head, maybe you have a headache or your jaw is clenched and your stomach or your neck or your back or your pelvis. In this state, you may also be experiencing some constipation.

In fight mode, same that higher energy, but everything is irritating. And you feel frustrated either with yourself or those around you. You have a short fuse and again, your body is tense. Checking your head, your jaw, your stomach, neck. Back pelvis. And this state, you may also have constipation.

Then freeze or shutdown, this is where you feel lazy and you just have no energy or motivation. Your mood is low. You may feel depressed or hopeless, or just kind of numb and disconnected to any feelings. You probably don't want to go anywhere. You don't want to be around anybody. And you might feel brain foggy or like it's hard to focus or just really craving activities where you can just totally zone out, like watching TV or playing video games.

And then there is another state that is a little bit more nuanced called fawn which is kind of a combination between flight and freeze. And that is a state where you are basically trying to do whatever you think will help to keep whatever that perceived threat is happy and liking you. And so that's where there's a tendency to just totally not pay attention to your own feelings or needs, but to prioritize what somebody else needs. You may not be sticking up for boundaries. You might not actually speak up for what your actual preference is. You just say whatever or do whatever you think is going to make the other person happy.

Now probably all of these sound really familiar and that's because you're a normal human and you are designed to experience all of these. All of these are just really valuable messages from your body that gives you information on what your unconscious and your nervous system is perceiving as a threat in your environment.

And reminder that this is from your body's perspective. And so that may be mental stressors, but it can also be physical-a reminder that your body has these basic necessities that you need. And so if you aren't getting sleep or brain breaks or water or real food that has all the nutrients that you need or fresh air or sunlight that is stressful from your body's perspective. Even if consciously you think that it's totally fine, like you can operate on 5 hours of sleep. Why not? You don't really need to drink water. Like yes, you can think that consciously, but from your body's perspective, that is probably not the case.

And so this is why it is so valuable to be tuning into your body because your body is making this decision of what is stressful or isn't stressful. Your conscious mind, doesn't get to decide that. Now for me, like a normal day in veterinary medicine, I used to experience all of these. I would start the day majorly in flight mode, like high stress, worrying about everything, but like, woo, like ready to go. And I would be fawning in every single appointment, just having like the smile and seeing whatever I thought I needed to in order to keep everyone around me happy Not really trying to rock the boat at all. Never speaking up for my needs. If there were walk-ins and I was feeling really hungry, it was almost lunchtime, I'd probably start going into fight mode internally. I'd be feeling pretty irritable, losing patience, having a short fuse. But I wouldn't want to speak up because that felt way too scary to think about saying no. And so I just felt resentment. And so by the end of the day, I would have been on a roller coaster of emotions that I had not processed and I would feel very irritable slash numb. I would be at that fight mode to shut down mode.

And a lot of the times I would get home and I just like, wouldn't even really want to talk to my husband. I would even kind of be like, not really want my dogs to be around me. I just wanted to be totally alone and everything was irritating. And that was because I had had this mask on basically all day of trying to be this super pleasant vet who was just happy and taking everything in stride and super calm. And I wasn't speaking up for what I needed and I wasn't processing any of those emotions.

And so I went through the entire spectrum of these. And every day would end up feeling like I was in shutdown. And like at that point of burnout, often it was getting to the point where I would just be crying at the end of the day. And that was that feeling of just feeling hopeless and stuck. And depressed and like, I just didn't have any other options.

And that was because I was in that nervous system state, where in freezer shut down. You can't be problem-solving. Now, most of us are not just shifting in and out of these states, like spending most of our time in the safe and social parasympathetic state and then when something stressful comes up going into fight or flight, or like maybe on a really stressful day, going into freeze or shut down.

Most of us are just living in fight or flight in a sympathetic state in that survival mode, because that is what we have normalized in our society. And we don't need to go into the details of what happens in childhood or at some point, and why you get stuck into survival mode or trauma responses. If you want to really dive into that and understand it, that is what my three and six month programs are all about. And you will dive deep into that topic, but I do want to go over what the signs are if you are stuck in survival mode.

So if you are stuck in flight mode, if your body has decided that that is the new default setting for you. This might sound familiar. You are the high achiever who never slows down. You thrive on being busy and being the one who can do it all. And sometimes things may take longer than you think they should. Like maybe sending an email takes way too long because you're overthinking it, rereading it 10 times, you want it to be perfect. And then even when you finally send it, you immediately think about what you could have done differently. You have been telling yourself that you need a break forever, but every time you try to carve out time for you, something comes up and you know, that you won't even enjoy resting or having a break if you still have stuff to do. And so you tend to just live in the state of just being a few more things away from rest or from things being better. There also may be some pride around this. Like you kind of like that you're not the type of person who likes to slow down. You're the type of person who tends to just do more than other people. And so there's a part of you that maybe knows that you should rest more, But there is another part of you that likes that other people are impressed by how much you can accomplish. And when it comes to your health, you may never feel satisfied with your body, regardless of how in shape you are. You probably have very high standards for yourself when it comes to healthy habits, you may have very black and white thinking and have clear ideas of what's good and what's bad. And this may sometimes get in the way in that you're kind of all or nothing. You love structure and a plan. And so when it comes to health, you tend to wait until it's the perfect time to restart healthy habits, because you're not the type of person to half ass something like you want to go all in when you start something. And so you want it to be the perfect time. You also may really love caffeine or other kinds of stimulants. And you probably like really intense workouts. Like you want to be sweating otherwise you feel like it's not even a workout.. You also may have a history of pushing yourself a little too far. Like for example, maybe you do long distance running and you continue to run despite having running injuries because you hate to rest and you want to stick to that plan. And so the thought of not working out and breaking that goal and schedule is totally unappealing and you're just, you're very good at ignoring your body.

So if you're stuck in fawn mode, you are the super nice person who everyone can rely on. you love helping others and when someone tells you how much they appreciate you, that is the absolute best thing. But you are also really tired and honestly, you kind of resent that people always assume you're going to pick up the slack and take care of everything. Your schedule is so overwhelming, but you keep saying yes to things because you feel bad saying no. You wish people would just stop asking you, but instead they ask you and you just reflexively say,"yeah, no problem. I'd love to", even though internally you're like, why did I just say yes to that? And when it comes to health, you probably want to be taking better care of yourself you just never have the time and you tend to self sacrifice what you want and you focus on everybody else's needs. And you're very in tune with how other people feel and their emotions, but when someone asks how you're feeling it's pretty hard for you to answer. You'll just quickly say good and then turn the focus back to them. And it may also be hard to even know your own preferences, like in a group if you're trying to decide what to do, you're the one who's just going to say,"I don't care. Like whatever you want to do I'm great with." And you're always worrying about what others think of you. And even when someone gives you a compliment, you just assume they're just being nice because you are so hard on yourself and you judge everything that you say and do. And because you're always judging yourself and not feeling confident in who you are, you really rely on external validation, whether that is achievements or a number on the scale, or what other people are saying or thinking of you in order to try to feel worthy and better about yourself. But those are just little moments and there's just constantly this need for approval from external things.

You are stuck in fight mode if you feel like you don't even really recognize, or like the person that you're becoming around friends and family. Like, you know you are a good person and yet you've been having these Jekyll and Hyde moments where you just morph into this version of you that you don't even recognize and see things that you later regret. Little things that aren't really a big deal get under your skin like something you, someone cutting you off in traffic, or even your dog wanting your attention. And your partner has commented that you're not yourself and they feel like they have to tip toe around you. You hate the person that you're becoming and, you know, something has to change, but you also don't know where to start. And you're super frustrated with yourself. And when you're stressed, you tend to turn to alcohol or comfort food or pills or screen time, since everything around you irritates you and it provides a temporary escape. You're never satisfied with what you see when you look in the mirror and you're your own worst critic.

And then you may be stuck in shutdown if things are just feeling really hard right now. Like you're feeling really down or defeated or stuck. Kind of hopeless or depressed. Your energy is really low. You just don't have motivation to do things that you used to enjoy, and you really just want to be alone, kind of zoning out. Your idea of bliss would just being able to hang out on the couch with nobody bothering you, not having to interact with the public. And you may be having trouble, really focusing, kind of have brain fog or zone out or daydream a lot. And you may just have this sense, like things just aren't going to get better. You may feel kind of numb or like it's really hard to connect with your emotions or even to know what your body is telling you. You may spend a lot of time watching TV or playing video games, and you probably want to be taking better care of yourself and like, you want to make changes, but you just. can't. And you feel like you're the only one who is having this hard of a time..

So now that we've gone over the signs of fight, flight, fawn, and freeze and shut down, all of those are messages from our body and nervous system telling us that something is feeling hard or stressful. There is some kind of perceived threat in our environment.

And adopting this fear free approach for humans is so powerful because by recognizing the signs of a stress response and those patterns, we are bringing something that was largely unconscious and reactive into our conscious awareness, where we get to decide what we want to do with that information so that we can make changes that are both supportive in our own lives and in our interactions with others.

And this is how we, as a profession can go from reactive and being in survival mode to being proactive and problem-solving and thinking outside of the box and being able to do things differently so that this profession is so much more sustainable. But here's what is currently happening.

The veterinary profession, selects and rewards people who are showing signs of being stuck in the flight response and the fawn response. So with the flight response, these are the high achievers thrive on being busy, amazing at multitasking, getting perfect grades like that is what veterinary schools are selecting for. And many times that's also coupled with that fawn response, that willingness to self sacrifice if that means helping out another pet or a person, and just always being nice and maybe not being very authentic, but wearing that mask just in order for everybody to like you.

So vet med is selecting and rewarding for signs that someone is in survival mode AKA a stress response, which is not sustainable. And so as long as we are selecting and rewarding and attributing our success, and even having pride around our ability to never slow down and to always be busy and to always do everything to a perfect level. Then this profession cannot be sustainable.

If we believe that our success is because of the traits that are a sign that we're in survival mode, Which by design is only for short term survival and not long-term success. Can you see how the only logical place that leads us unless there's a change is to burn out or worse. We cannot keep doing this. We can't keep talking about mental health and burnout prevention without addressing these limiting beliefs that are keeping us stuck. These things that we have pride around, but that are actually holding us back from what we really want. And that's why we need a fundamental shift in our profession..

This is why it is absolutely critical that we adopt a fear-free approach in the veterinary profession if we want to actually see the burnout and suicide rate dramatically improve. And not just that, if we want to thrive as a profession. If we want to be a profession that leads by example and shows how to do health care the right way in a way that actually promotes health for everybody involved. As long as we are feeling proud of our ability to ignore basic necessities and to work through lunches and to be perfect all the time and to self-sacrifice, And connecting our sense of self worth to things like our productivity. we can not change as a profession, because that is not sustainable. We need to adopt this fear free approach, so that we can start listening to what our nervous systems have been telling us all along and so that we can act on the red flags that we have been ignoring.

And while we have been selecting and rewarding for the flight and fawn patterns and responses, at the same time, there's so much judgment around fight and freeze and shut down.. And it's this judgment and this good versus bad labeling that we really need to let go of because these nervous system states are not good or bad. They're not right or wrong. They just are. Like a nervous system state is just a very normal thing that all of our bodies do and we need to normalize all of them, the spectrum, Because a nervous system state is not a problem. They're really important, valuable responses that helped to protect us.

The only problem is when we judge them or resist them and think that they are a problem and we pathologize them so that we're not able to connect with the message from our body and what we need. And when we feel like we are alone in our experience, because we're afraid to talk about it. And so with the fight response right now what happens is because we have normalized being in survival mode, we are already in this heightened awareness and looking for threats and in that stressed state, we're likely to perceive even neutral things as a threat.

So for example, we're likely to interpret that a client or coworker as being negative or threatening, even if they aren't just because we are already in a stressed state. And so that means that we tend to meet the fight response with reactivity and judgment and defensiveness. And what that does is it means that we absorb that negative energy and then we are also stressed and then it just creates this cascade and epidemic of negativity.

Versus when we take this fear free approach, a human that is in the fight response, whether that is a fractious client or a coworker who is bullying, when you start to be able to recognize that that is someone in the fight response, what does that mean? It means that they are feeling overwhelmed or stressed or threatened. Something from their perspective is feeling like too much. And it doesn't have to be personal. Right? It's just like if there's a dog growling at you, that doesn't necessarily mean that they hate you personally, they're just scared or overwhelmed. And so when we're able to just notice, okay, this is a human in the fight response, who something is feeling like a lot in their life then we don't have to absorb that negativity and that negative energy. And instead we can think about and get curious about what needs to happen In order to reestablish safety, to help them to feel seen or supported to show your positive intention.

And notice how this kind of interaction can actually unite us and help to strengthen relationships and to support one another rather than creating a divide. And then with freeze and shutdown, the big problem with this is that we are judging it and thinking that it is a sign of weakness and that we just need to be harder on ourselves.

And again, that's why people are getting stuck here. And that's why we are not talking about it because there tends to be this shame or self judgment. When in reality, if we can all recognize, okay, I'm feeling lower energy than normal. Or, wow I don't have the motivation even to do my morning workout, even though that normally is something that I really like to do. Instead of making that be like, what's wrong with me? Noticing that as the first sign that my nervous system is starting to feel overwhelmed, if I can meet that with curiosity instead of judgment, that is how we can be so proactive in making sure that we are never reaching burnout and suicide. And that sounds like a really strong statement. Right? But it's true.

Because if we recognize the freeze or shut down response for what it is early on. And even if we start recognize what happens before, right? Like, okay, I'm feeling like I'm in flight mode. And I feel like I can not slow down. I feel like there's just too much I have to do, even though I know that I like really should eat or I really need to rest, but I just feel like I can't, if I notice that I'm getting stuck in that flight mode or that fight mode where like my husband isn't even doing anything, but you're irritating me or I'm just totally irritated with myself- if I'm able to notice those and as a sign that, okay, something needs to change. What do I need in order to help, to prioritize returning to a safe parasympathetic state or to release stress. Then it's less likely that I'm even going to be going into freeze or shutdown.

And there are still going to be times when I do go into freeze and shut down. And that's also not a problem. Right. Because even if I notice, oh, I am feeling really down. Like I have no energy. Letting that be just a really important message for my body, like, Hey this has all been feeling like a lot and letting that be me pausing and thinking about, okay, well, why is it really understandable? Maybe I don't feel like I should be feeling this way, but that's not super helpful at all. So, let's think about actually, what are the things that could be contributing to me feeling like this and what needs to change So, that I don't stay stuck in this freeze and shut down..

This has been a really powerful and helpful thing that I've been able to observe in my own life. So on this entrepreneurial journey, there are times when I feel so inspired and excited about what I'm doing and I'm super productive and everything feels great. And those periods are always eventually met with a period where I just wake up and I feel low energy, I just feel kind of like, oh, things aren't working or I feel a little bit defeated. And I don't feel inspired. Like maybe I have all these things I wanted to do and everything is just feeling really hard. And the old perfectionist, me in flight mode just really, would've beaten myself up. Like, why am I feeling this way? What's wrong with me? Just pushing harder because I had this list of things I needed to do. Or I'm a coach and I should be feeling perfect and energized every single day. And instead I can just observe. Oh, This is me going into freeze and shutdown. And that makes sense, because I just had a period of really high energy and excitement. And this is what my body does to balance this out. This is just my sign that now it's time to take a day. That I need to prioritize rest. I need to rethink my plan for the day and the to do list. Because I know that when I honor that period where I do need to just prioritize rest and give my brain a break, then so much quicker then I wake up the next day. And I'm. Poof, ready to go.

And learning how to work with my body has been so empowering so that instead of those days where I feel kind of down and low energy, instead of that being a big problem. I can surrender to it and get cozy and just embrace that invitation for my body that it's time to tone it down a little bit until the next round.

So can you see with this fear free approach, the powerful thing is number one, we can recognize signs of a stress response in ourselves and others. And that is huge because there are just these certain things that we can look for the way that our body feels and the way that we are acting, that helps us to identify where we're at And it gives us a simple language so that we can share that with others. And then we can ditch judgment, that we've made for all of these states of whether they're good and bad and just see them for what they are just nervous system states. And embrace curiosity about what needs to happen to reestablish safety, to support my body, to support this other person.

And there are going to be times when you don't know why you are feeling that way, or you don't know why another person is feeling that way, and that's okay. You don't have to know why. Because you have that information that, that person or yourself you're feeling overwhelmed in some way. And sometimes that just means giving yourself space to feel that without judgment. And to treat yourself with compassion or to have compassion for that other person.

And then other times you're going to know what you need say, you know, that you need to eat food at work, or you know that you need this difficult client to be treating you with respect. And if that isn't possible, then you're identifying where a boundary needs to be established.

So, for example, with that rude or fractious client, when you're following this fear free approach, you will notice that they're being rude and that means that they're in that fight stress response. It means that something is feeling stressful or hard or overwhelming from their perspective. And you can get curious, maybe it's because their pet is sick. Maybe they are stressed about finances. And there are strategies and ways to communicate in order to make your positive intention clear and to work, to identify and to speak to a common goal. And I do have other resources we talk about this in my programs. I'll also link to a blog post with some communication tips for making your positive intention clear.

But say you are trying these and this person just won't have it. They just don't trust you. They are being incredibly disrespectful. Then you have given them an opportunity to feel seen and heard, and they're just not willing to respect you. And so you need to then establish a boundary because nothing with this individual moving forward can be productive. If they aren't willing to respect you. Veterinary medicine requires teamwork. And that person, if they don't respect you, that is what is just going to throw you off. They're going to take a lot of time. They're probably going to be challenging with payments, they probably are probably going to leave a negative review regardless of what you are doing, they're going to send this negative ripple effect throughout your hospital. And if you cater to someone like that, you're sending this unspoken message to your entire veterinary team, that they are not a priority. And you are enabling a workplace where they're subject to verbal abuse without a way of escaping if they don't have the autonomy to speak up for. A boundary. And it also teaches that client that that is okay. That they will get what they want, if they are difficult. And I go into this in more detail in the beat the burnout resource, specifically the talk called"no more bullies, overcoming toxic clients and the negative thoughts that are weighing you down".

But ultimately when we are in survival mode as a profession, there may be this tendency of wanting that client to be happy and that fawning and tolerating it in order to help the patient. But we need to zoom out and look at what is the experience of when we cater to a rude client or allow them to verbally abuse us, then that causes such a negative ripple effect among the whole team, because now you have created a toxic workplace. A workplace where employees can't even feel safe or respected at work. And if you also think about how that is likely to cause the schedule to go behind, because this client is taking more time and maybe the employees are complaining about it and another client hears. And if you zoom out and look at now you have employees that don't feel valued and respected at work and they're probably starting to look for other jobs so your retention rate is low and you're catering to these these clients who are, you don't even want and potentially losing the really wonderful clients that you do, then you can see how that's just keeping you stuck in this survival mode and not allowing you to really thrive and to attract and retain the people that you actually want to be around..

The good news is that when you adopt this fear-free approach and you start recognizing that a rude client is just someone who's dealing with something hard and you simply help them to feel seen, even if that's something like,"this is feeling really hard right now. Isn't it?" That very often, instantly neutralizes it or really shifts there entire demeanor. And it's rare that you actually need to be establishing this boundary. So many of us, we're all humans and we just want to feel seen, and it's hard with the fight response we are tending to push people away when in reality, as a species, we really thrive when we are feeling connected with one another.

But even when you are establishing boundaries or needing to speak up for them, it's important to remember that is an important part of any healthy relationship. Because you are communicating your needs and you are helping someone else to understand how to be interacting with you.

And this also goes for the way that you are treating yourself. Like you may be identifying times where you need to create a boundary in the way that you are treating yourself. So it may be that you are in that flight and fawn mode and so, during the work day, you like to see lots of patients. And so if there is a walk in during your lunch break, you tend to say yes, even if you're really hungry and you know, you need to eat something you say yes, because you feel bad saying no. And you don't want anybody else to judge you. But then it means that you end up being super irritable and resentful during the afternoon. Then that means that you need to create that boundary for yourself and start finding ways to create that boundary so that you're able to carve out time for you to sit and have lunch so that you're able to practice medicine in a way that feels good. And so that you're able to be a nice human to be around for your coworkers. And it's easy to say that, but I do want to be clear. I know establishing boundaries can feel so scary. Especially if you are stuck in fawn mode and really have that people pleasing tendency that's because to your nervous system, the thought of saying something that someone might not like, or being difficult, your nervous system is reacting to that as if a lion is chasing you. It's extremely scary. And so just having compassion for yourself and being gentle with yourself, if you are finding areas where you want to be sticking up for boundaries, but it's feeling hard. That's okay.

The beautiful thing about adopting this fear for your approach and looking at things from a nervous system perspective and being able to recognize signs that you're in the stress response is that you can use that to start collecting data. So say you really struggle with the fawn response and that people pleasing. And so you have a really hard time sticking up for boundaries. You can just start noticing where specifically that is showing up in your life. And that can help you to think ahead and come up with strategies for how you want to navigate that to start establishing boundaries. Instead of just being in this autopilot, automatic, just life is feeling too overwhelming and you're just continuing to stay in that pattern of self-sacrificing. Now you are starting to identify specific opportunities to do something different. And you can get the support to change that.

That's where my three and six month programs are really helpful because this is a process. It involves trial and error and experimenting. And it's so helpful when you can have coaching and guidance and community support all helping you to create the change that you're wanting. And you can also check out my free beat the burnout series because I have a lecture devoted to energy and boundaries. So where to start if you are having low energy and also how to start speaking up for your boundaries even if that's feeling really intimidating. And the beat the burnout resource is now race approved for four hours of CE. And the game changer course, which is part of both my three and six months program is now approved for eight hours of CE. So you can get 12 hours of CE while really tuning into what you needed to be having a sustainable thriving career in vet med. How great is that?

So here's the real kicker and challenge with these stress responses, especially when you are stuck in them. And this is where we really need to start being proactive instead of reactive in vet med if we want to create real changes.

When you are in a stress response, the thing that you think is going to help you and the thing that is going to feel most automatic is actually the exact opposite of what you need in order for things to change and for you to feel better.

I'll give you an example. If you are in flight mode, you are going to think that what you need to do is just hurry and get all of the things done that are stressing you out. So that you can then rest and feel better the problem is you are never actually going to reach that point when you feel like everything is done and you're able to rest because your brain has learned that rest is unsafe. And so you may notice that any time you reach that point where like it's finally vacation or you feel like you got everything done, maybe there's a moment that feels good. And there's a moment when you kind of treat yourself, but then your brain probably instantly starts thinking of more things that you have to do, or it's worrying, and it's thinking about the future and it's not even allowing you to enjoy the present. And that is because your brain doesn't think that that's safe. And that is something that you need to unlearn. It may be that, that constant productivity and always being perfect did help you to get to where you are and to achieve some success.

But it also probably means that you haven't really been enjoying the journey much. Right? Like maybe there have been moments when you feel successful, like, finally becoming a veterinarian and moments when you have an achievement. But if you think about like, what is the proportion of time that you spend working towards things and feeling drained and really stressed compared to the amount of time that you're actually enjoying your life in the present moment? And so this is where it's time to unlearn those patterns because they're not sustainable. And it's time to learn that even if there are still things that your brain can think of to do, which it's always going to be able to do that.

What you need to learn is that sometimes rest is going to feel uncomfortable, especially when you're first learning. But that doesn't mean that you don't need to prioritize it. It is important in order to be able to practice medicine in a way that feels good.

And so as a profession, especially what hospitals can be doing is that we need to be helping collectively to unlearn those patterns that are not sustainable. That can look like making sure that when employees are taking vacation, there isn't a negative consequence because of that. So, for example, one thing we really need to be thinking about is compensation based pay. It doesn't mean that we can't be doing that, but it is important to be thinking in what ways is this deterring me from prioritizing the rest that I need or taking vacation time and how can we be making sure that there is paid PTO? Or that there is no negative consequence when you are taking your vacation time?

For example, are you imagining having a huge pile of callbacks that you have to take care of when you get back? And is there a way that as a hospital, you can be proactive in supporting one another, so that returning from vacation doesn't feel like a nightmare. How can we even actually be incentivizing taking vacation time?

And it can be really helpful for the practice to pay attention to what happens. How are you able to show up on the days when you actually pause and give yourself a break? Like say you go for a short walk, you leave the hospital during your lunch break, you have time to eat a nourishing meal... noticing how you're able to show up for your patients and interact with your clients and interact with your coworkers compared to the days when you just work through lunch and don't eat anything. Or looking at, how do you act when you get home? Does it mean that you actually are having nice interactions with your partner instead of being irritable? Does it mean that you actually want to go out and do something with your friends instead of feeling like you have no energy. Maybe you actually want to cook a yummy nourishing meal instead of just ordering takeout that makes you feel crappy.

Really noticing how little choices like that, like prioritizing lunch actually has a huge positive impact in the way that you're able to show up. And notice how those things, that you then have time for like nice interactions with your partner, nourishing meals, or time to connect with friends are all really helpful for recharging outside of work, so that you do feel ready for your next shift.

Versus if you are getting home feeling irritable and that leads to an argument with your partner and drinking too much wine and all of that just adds stress so that then you're going into work the next day not just feeling stressed from your work life, but also your personal life, then you're already starting the day with your stress balloon full and your battery empty and that is a road that will lead you down to freeze and shut down and burnout out.

This is where if we are normalizing talking about these and if things like flight fight, fawn, and freeze and shutdown are just routine parts of conversation that we talk about every day. Then we can also be normalizing some of the feelings that are uncomfortable and kind of shadowy. And maybe that we aren't talking about in vet med that tend to really weigh us down or add pressure.

For flight mode, that is that perfectionist. And the reality is in veterinary school, maybe you can study for an exam and they're right and wrong answers and things are more black and white, but in the real world, the world is very gray. It's rarely black and white and it's impossible to be perfect. And it's so important that we normalize that-that we are not rewarding perfection, that we're actually rewarding resilience and the ability to learn from mistakes and problem solve. There needs to be so much more emphasis on that.

And also just normalizing feelings of imposter syndrome. As high achievers, it's very natural that we're going to have feelings of never being good enough feeling like we don't know what we're doing, no matter how many achievements we have. And the thing is Imposter syndrome is only a problem because we are calling it a syndrome and thinking that it's a problem. In reality, we are all just experiencing those thoughts. We all have them. It doesn't matter how successful you are. That person that you look up to is also having those feelings of self doubt.

And so it's really just about the more that we can normalize those and be sharing that with one another, saying like, wow, today I feel like I do not know what I'm doing. The more that we can just take away the heaviness and any shame associated with that, and really just support one another and be even more collaborative. When we look at fawn, this is really an important thing for practice owners and leadership to be aware of because the fawn mode is very dangerous in that those employees are going to seem like they're totally happy. And nothing is wrong until suddenly they reach freeze or shutdown and reach burnout or leave or worse.

They are the ones that internally have so much pressure and heaviness and stress, but you would never guess. And so this is where it's so important to be really proactive in checking in with how everyone is doing and not making any assumptions. And in this case, you also really want to make sure that you are providing opportunities for them to give you feedback in a way that feels safe to them. Knowing that, especially with something like a one-on-one they may just reflexively say what they think that you want them to say. And they may not even really know how they're doing, because if you remember again in fawn mode, You're much more in tune with how others are and what they want and what they expect of you It's kind of hard to tune into what you actually need. And so in this case, it's actually really important for those employees who may seem like they are totally great To make sure that you are giving them a heads up before they are going to be giving any kind of feedback that way they have some time to actually be reflecting and thinking about how they're doing. And making sure that they have a way of providing feedback in a way that feels safe to them.

And that is why I now have a free, it's called unicorn vet hospital survey. It's also a workplace satisfaction and wellbeing survey that all veterinary hospitals are able to give to your employees. It's an easy 15 minute survey that your employees can take that is very holistic. So it's going to give you an incredible snapshot of how your team is really doing, looking at physical and mental health and life in and outside of work. Because everything is connected in order to really understand how to support your team, it's so important to be looking at the full picture. And it's a way of giving your employees an opportunity to provide honest feedback about how they're really doing. Then afterwards you get a free report emailed to you with the main findings. You will be able to instantly know if your team feels valued, respected, and supported. Do they think that you're a unicorn vet hospital.

This is how I am finding unicorn vet hospitals. And I am starting a resource, a list of the unicorn vet hospitals, the ones that are just totally rocking it when it comes to creating a safe and supportive environment for their team, a workplace where they genuinely feel lucky to work there and they're able to practice vet med in a way that feels good and sustainable. They are definitely adopting this fear free approach. So if you're interested in that, definitely check out the link in the notes, or you can visit my website to sign up it's www.life boost.today. You'll also get information on the stress level of your employees and how much of that is work-related. Their overall mental health, physical health, energy level, if they are feeling burnt out, depressed, you'll instantly get so much information.

And that's really powerful because 51% of voluntarily exiting employees say that in the three months before they left, neither their manager or their leader spoke with them about their job satisfaction or future with the company. And yet 52% of those voluntarily exiting employees said that their manager or organization could have done something to prevent them from leaving. And so if you are not routinely checking in with your team, Including, those employees who you think are just thriving and doing great. Then you could fall prey to those statistics and how disappointing. Right. Especially right now, when I talk with practice owners who have had ads up for years and they still are understaffed and aren't able to be hiring. And the average cost of losing an employee is one and a half to two times their salary.

And of course, veterinary medicine is a business. You need to make a profit. The numbers need to work out, which means that improving employee retention and attracting amazing candidates and being proactive in creating an environment where they can thrive is the most important investment that you can make if you want your practice to be successful longterm. All of this is part of my mission and vet med unicorn movement that I know has the power to change vet med in a big way. And I've spent the last year creating so many resources so that any veterinary hospital and any individual who is wanting to make these positive changes and to shift out of survival mode and who wants to really stand out in vet med and to not just get by, but to really be thriving and enjoying this profession that you worked so hard for. I now have resources to support you so that you are able to problem solve each step of the way.

For hospitals starting with the survey is so important so that you are getting those diagnostics, basically like getting a history and physical exam and running some tests so that you can be very specific and strategic with what you do with that information. And then at the individual level also having free resources, like the beat the burnout resource, and also my three and six month program and the idea with this unicorn hospital list and this resource is that either you're already a unicorn hospital and you definitely deserve to be recognized and to get a shout out and we need to be having conversations with you so that our profession is seeing proof of what's possible.

Or you aren't yet a unicorn hospital, but now you're empowered with insight and clarity on exactly where you are and where to focus in order to become a unicorn hospital. And I have resources to help you to be proactive in supporting the energy and wellbeing of your employees and to think outside the box so that you and your team are working smarter, not harder. And the cool thing is that, you can repeat this survey.

So I want to be collecting data on what resources and initiatives and programs really work to create positive, sustainable change to help us thrive as a profession. So you can get a baseline on how you're doing, and that's just really valuable data, regardless of what feedback you get. And then we can make a change and you can then repeat it. And if you want support with that, you can schedule a consult with me. We can chat about your specific challenges and goals, and then I'll create a proposal for you with a variety of options so that we can make sure that you are creating a workplace that is sustainable and where you can all thrive, because that is how you are also going to improve the revenue and the retention and the client experience and the patient care. It's all centered around having employees who have energy and who are not functioning in survival mode.

That was a little bit of a tangent, but going back to fawn mode, this is where it's really important in workplaces to be proactive about having conversations around boundaries, especially someone in fawn mode, it's going to be really uncomfortable. If you really want to stand out as an employer, if you are proactive and supporting them and identifying what boundaries they need and having those conversations. Talking about their schedule or how to be making sure that they're able to be eating and what environment they thrive in, then that is a way to absolutely be a unicorn. And also making sure that your workplace is really prioritizing psychological safety. That must happen in order to create an environment where you can thrive.

And so this is where if you are a practice owner or a leader, and you're listening to this. It's really important that you are creating an environment that is open and receptive to feedback. And this is where really checking in with yourself and seeing if you're in survival mode. Because if you are in survival mode and you're not putting your oxygen mask on first. And you're just trying so hard to support your practice and take care of everybody. Then, if you receive some feedback that isn't totally positive, then it's very understandable that your initial reaction is going to be reactive or defensive or to feel really overwhelmed and that doesn't help anybody.

If your team doesn't feel safe to give honest feedback, unexpected and unpleasant surprises are going to pop up because you're not allowing employees to be honest about how they're feeling. Your team can not be thriving if you are not. And so you really need to lead by example.

And if things are feeling really overwhelming right now, that's where scheduling a consultation is great. We can talk about how you're feeling. What's feeling challenging. I have so many resources to support you so that you're not only able to be improving the wellbeing of your team and helping your practice to thrive, you're also making positive changes in your own life that's making everything to feel more doable. You have probably been juggling a lot and doing so much yourself for so long and you don't have to keep doing that. You don't have to do it all alone or to figure it all out on your own. I'm here to support you and together, we can come up with a plan that feels exciting and like a weight is being lifted off your shoulders.

And then looking at fight mode, the initial reaction is to be really hard on yourself or to push others away. When in reality, in that state, you really need support and to feel seen and to have compassion and to feel safe. And so if we can be proactive of acknowledging that the fight response is just, again, this sign that someone's feeling really overwhelmed. Then we can get curious. A huge thing to be asking in vet med is: are there basic necessities that aren't being met, right? Like, it's very understandable that you're going to be in fight mode if your blood sugar is low, we are going to be feeling hangry. Or if you haven't slept a lot, and it's incredible with the data I'm getting from these unicorn vet hospital surveys, seeing how many people are extremely sleep deprived. And it's just so hard. Like you're already starting your day with a full stress balloon. If you're not getting enough sleep and everything is going to feel so much harder. And so, as a hospital, really being proactive.

And in the survey, you're able to see, is my team having the basic necessities that they need? And if not, why what's getting in the way, how can we make it more convenient to be prioritizing those? How can you support them? Even if that is something outside of work. It could also mean having a space where if you notice someone's in fight mode and they need a, just a little moment, maybe there's an area where they can just go journal it out or even punching a pillow, like really acknowledging what they need and giving them a space to release that negative energy in a productive way. And in these cases, they may need outside support.

This is where my programs can be really helpful for individuals like that and once again, giving them a safe, confidential space to provide honest feedback. And then first signs of freeze and shutdown, this is where we really need to be so proactive and really changing our mindset around these signs.

If you are a practice owner and you have an employee that seems unengaged or lazy, and like they keep making mistakes. Please recognize this as a big red flag to check in with them in a very gentle and supportive way. Not thinking that they don't care or that you need to be harder on them because that may just add more stress and keep them stuck when they probably want to be making changes. This is a time to check in with them in a very safe way.

And this is again, why this survey that I've created can create a really safe space for them to reflect and give honest feedback without fear of negative repercussions. This is also just creating a culture where it's normal to be talking about this kind of thing. liKe if every day everybody is sharing what nervous system state they feel like they're in and maybe what do they think that they need in order to feel supported that day?

If you normalize the feelings of like"I'm feeling kind of in shutdown today, I'm not having a lot of motivation and I'm just feeling kind of really down today". If you actually can share that with your team and that becomes a normal and safe space to be sharing that kind of thing. That is hugely valuable, right?

This level of self-awareness and feeling comfortable to share it is so important for any relationship. for example, with my husband, we do frequent check-ins and we'll see how much we have to give each day. If one of us is really thriving and is at a hundred percent, but the other is in shutdown and has like 10%, then with that information, we're able to come up with a plan, like the one who has a hundred percent knows that they are willing to take on some more things that day to support the other one who's dealing with things that are feeling really hard.

At the same time, If we are both feeling super depleted, say we're both at 10% that day. Then that's also really important information. With us both understanding where we're at now, we're working together as a team and that means together we need to figure out, okay, how can we make our day easier? What can we take off our plate so that we're able to get through this day. And sometimes that just means being there for each other and acknowledging, wow, this is feeling really hard and giving each other a hug. And that is what we need to get through the day.

So the more that you're able to do this at the hospital level, like even getting into the practice of identifying where you are at the start of each morning, and sharing that with the team. Then everybody can be strategizing together and talking about how you're going to make it through the day in a way that feels doable instead of having these feelings of resentment or frustration, when it feels like someone isn't pulling their weight. The more you're talking about it the more you can also be identifying what's contributing to that in the first place so that you can gradually be making changes so that more people are showing up to work having the capacity to be their best self and to give a hundred percent. And that's the nice thing about my programs and why it can be so beneficial as a benefit to your employees is because they are getting support, not just in dealing with work, but in all aspects of their life. So that they are feeling resilient and are showing up with less stress and more energy so that they can be their best self.

And if you are thinking about this kind of sharing and you're imagining like, oh, okay but that just is going to let an employee who is feeling lazy or is in shut down to just every day, say that they're at 10%. And so then the people who are having more energy are just going to have to pull the weight every day, that's not the case because you're communicating and identifying the nervous system state that everybody is in, you're also going to quickly be able to identify when an employee is starting to feel resentful or in fight mode. Any of those employees who are feel like they've been pulling their weight for too long. That's an important to be having that conversation. Because everyone is feeling this way, whether they're sharing and verbalizing that or not.

And so by being proactive and having these conversations and looking at it from a nervous system perspective and ditching the judgment and embracing curiosity, Then everybody's working together at noticing the red flags long before there are big problems created. And when you're able to recognize these, the more you can use that as an opportunity to find out what isn't working and what is contributing to feelings of fight mode or shut down so that you can come up with strategies to change that.

So, for example, if your culture, the hospital is really negative and everyone is irritable and in fight mode. What is contributing to that. Like for starters, what basic necessities are missing and why, how can we make it more convenient to prioritize those? Are difficult clients contributing. What happens when you adopt a fear free approach and employees are empowered with communication skills and strategies to use with those initially challenging interactions to actually improve their relationship with the owner? What boundaries and guidelines need to be established. When you adopt this approach, you are never stuck in these situations where it's just the same thing every day. As soon as you ditch judgment and embrace curiosity, and take this nervous system perspective, there are endless ways of thinking outside of the box and problem solving. And if you are feeling defeated in vet med or like things won't change, just note that that is a sign that you're in freeze or shut down and think about why that's understandable, because once you're able to tune into what you need to be gentle with yourself, you're going to start seeing more opportunities for things to change.

Burnout or worse doesn't happen after one hard day or one day of being in freeze or shutdown. It happens when it feels like that is every single day. And so supporting one another, and once again, remembering that this is not just about mental stressors or emotional stressors, this is also about physical stressors.

It's so important that vet med stop looking at burnout as just a mental health thing and treating mental health, like it's separate from physical health. Those are not separate. They are intimately connected. They are the same thing. For example, if you are not getting any sleep and you're only eating highly processed food and you're not drinking enough water and you're never going outside. It's very likely that you're going to feel depressed. Because that is so stressful for your body. And so if we're ignoring all of those physical stressors and we're just normalizing, having, candy and energy drinks as fuel instead of the actual nutrients that our brains need then we are creating this environment that really is not setting us up to thrive.

Again, my beat, the burnout resources, there is an entire lecture talking about things that veterinary hospitals can do to really stand out and be supporting the physical and mental wellbeing of your team. So definitely check that out for creating an environment where it's convenient to thrive.

We now even have research looking at microglia cells. So they are little cells in your brain that take care of neurons. We used to think that they were not very important, but just like most things like gut health, it turns out they're extremely important. They are like these sweet little doctors or caregivers for the neurons. So the neurons are the major cells in your brain that have synopsis and connections. And it's how you think basically, and learn and do everything. So the microglia cells are what help to support those neurons, to keep them healthy and to help them to build their connections.

We are now finding that when you're in a state of chronic inflammation and that could be chronic stress, it could be from trauma, an infection. toxin, it can also be highly processed food. Then that can change the behavior of microglia cells. And suddenly they go from being very helpful caregivers to Pac Men. They start becoming destructive and breaking down some of the synopsis. And that can actually cause cognitive and emotional changes that can contribute to signs of depression, anxiety, OCD, and more. This is really interesting and valuable information because it is proof of how connected everything is in our body and how our immune system as even influencing our mental health.

And so I'm sharing that just so that we can be so proactive in creating an environment where it's convenient for us to thrive and where we feel safe and where we recognize the red flags way before burnout and suicide happen. I hope that as you're listening to this, you can see how this has the power to transform the veterinary profession. And the way that we practice medicine.

We just cannot keep acting like we are machines and ignoring our bodies. It's not sustainable. And we need to let go of some of the pride that we have for being able to do it all and instead we really need to be supporting and celebrating each other and prioritizing basic necessities and having conversations and sharing those internal pressures that so many of us tend to be ashamed of or silently suffering from like having those feelings of hopelessness sometimes, or imposter syndrome or sharing how hard it is for you to speak up for the boundaries that you need, or to even share your preferences.

The more that we can just make this routine part of the conversation and normalize those thoughts that so often add so much internal pressure and can weigh us down and the more that we are able to, as a profession, learn new patterns that help us to thrive the more we can provide the best care to our patients, which they so deserve and so that we can also be having much more positive interactions with our clients and really strengthening our relationships.

We have the power to lead by example, as a profession. Imagine if we adopt this. And with my vet med unicorn movement, I am collecting data. Imagine if we have data showing what happens when we are supporting our nervous systems and prioritizing our basic necessities and supporting our energy. Imagine if human health care which is struggling so much right now and also experiencing burnout.

Imagine if they're like, wow, vet med has made some huge changes. Look at how much their burnout and suicide rate decreased. Look at how these practices are thriving. Look at how they're attracting employees. Look at their retention rates and wow look at when they are actually pausing to have lunch breaks and brain breaks or to go for a walk, watch how that actually increases their revenue, because then they're being more present with the pet owner and they're educating more and they're creating a more positive experience.

I cannot wait until we have that data and we are leading by example, not just in our profession, but in our world. And the really great thing is that even before that, If you adopt this in your own life, if you start noticing what your nervous system state is. And you start using that as really valuable information about what you need. You are going to start to feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

I have so many places for you to start depending on what feels doable for you. If you really want to create this change in your life, join my six month mentorship program. You can apply today, we'll make sure it's the right fit for you, and you can get started this month. And you may feel like, you know what you need to do, right. But if you know what you need to do, but it's not happening. That means that you know one way of doing it, that doesn't actually work for you. So let's find what helps you in this season of life. Notice how the nervous system states are getting in the way of actually creating the change that you want now.

For example, if flight mode sounds familiar, then you are probably thinking that something needs to happen in order for it to be a more perfect time to get started. Like you need more money or you need more time, or you just need to wait until, But the reality is you're always going to think that, and that's preventing you from enjoying your life and taking better care of yourself now.

If fawn mode is familiar you probably have a very full schedule and so it feels intimidating to sign up for something. And even more scary it probably feels really hard to invest in yourself. You are really good at helping others but when it comes to prioritizing something that is for you, that's probably feeling really hard, But I bet that you are also really tired and maybe tired of having resentment and everybody relying on you and not getting to prioritize what you need. And now can be when all of that changes.

In fight mode, you may be blaming others for your circumstances and thinking if they would just change, then things will be better. But the reality is that the only thing you have control of is you and you get to choose how you interact with others and the boundaries that you establish. It's so much more empowering when you don't let others influence how you're feeling. Or you may be feeling really frustrated with yourself and feel like you just need to be harder on yourself. Quite the opposite. What if your resistance to being gentle with yourself is what's holding you back from the things that you want?

And if freeze and shutdown sounds familiar. Starting anything is going to feel really intimidating and that's okay. I just know that social connection and feeling seen is a really amazing way to signal to your nervous system that you're safe. This journey is about you. And so even if that means starting it showing up and just saying."I'm in shutdown. I don't know where to start." That's an amazing place to start in order to be thawing and to be moving forward so that you have the support and community to help you to connect with what you need. Being around other people who are making these changes, which are not the norm in our world. And who are talking about it and having someone to celebrate with you when you actually honor that you're in freeze or shutdown and you notice that and you're like,"okay, That means that I really need to prioritize rest without guilt. That's a sign I need to be extra gentle with myself", or if you stick up for a boundary, you have a group to really celebrate with you. That is the power of being part of a community that is motivated to be making this change. And so that you're not feeling alone in all of those normal human emotions that we all have.

And there's also a three months option and a mini option my becoming unstoppable jumpstart, which is a very low price point and super simple, but powerful. And so either messaging me, you can email me at amelia@lifeboost.Today or applying and I'll leave the link in the show notes we can just chat about which option is best for you.

Now other resources include the free"beat the burnout: what we should've learned in vet school" resource. That includes four videos, they're race approved, and they are really going to help you. If you are loving what you heard in today's episode, we're just going to dive deeper into really identifying what you need in order to support your energy and sanity.

And then I absolutely - help me to find the unicorn vet hospitals, because how amazing is this going to be when we have a resource where if you are a veterinarian, or any kind of veterinary professional, and you're looking for a new job opportunity, how amazing to be able to turn to a list of vet hospitals that you can trust are actually going to be amazing places to work because we have data and feedback from all of their employees saying, yes, this place I feel valued, supported and respected. Yes. I feel like I have a good work-life balance. How incredible to have that. Right?

So if you are looking for that, make sure that your vet hospital signs up. If you know that you're not a unicorn hospital, but you are excited to become one, and you love the idea of implementing this fear free approach in your practice please sign up. I will leave all the links in the show notes.

The burnout and suicide rate in veterinary medicine is going to change. We're done with the whole high burnout and suicide rate thing. It is time for us to thrive as a profession. It is time for you to actually feel excited to go to work, to actually be feeling like this is the career that you wanted to go into and to be feeling fulfilled and like, this is a a profession that you're proud to be a part of. Please share this with your community so that we can all work to create this positive change and send me a message and let me know if this resonated with you. Sending you positive vibes, energy and love. Bye for now.

If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it with someone who you think could benefit. And if you're enjoying this podcast, it would mean so much to me if you would take the time to leave a review so that others can find me. And as a thank you, if you leave a review, send me an email, letting me know, and I'll send you a free guided meditation for mental rehearsal. So that is exactly what elite athletes, executives, incredible surgeons all use it's a scientifically proven way to improve performance. And the reason this works so well is because when you are mentally rehearsing, the same area of your brain is lighting up as if you were actually doing it. And so it's a safe and effective way to be preparing and practicing and improving your skills for when you're actually living it in the moment. So send me an email at a amelia@lifeboost.Today if you leave a review and i can't wait to share that with you cheers your inevitable health happiness and success

Resources mentioned:

• Beat The Burnout (4 hrs RACE-approved CE): 
• The Game Changer - 3 month program (8 hrs RACE-approved CE): 
• The 6 month Life Boost mentorship - 6 month program (8 hrs RACE-approved CE)
• Apply to work with me
• Unicorn vet hospital survey
• Blog post: Communication Tips To Build Trust and Strengthen Relationships with Clients